Srsly, guys, laughing at Angela Merkel for dropping the E-bomb was one thing but…

Good Morning; you’re listening to The Today!! Programme. On the programme this morning we have what is happening now – no, this isn’t rolling news; this isn’t people talking about what happened yesterday – it’s TODAY!! in a programme. Over the next three hours, although honestly if you’re listening for more than one you should probably get a job or a lie-in – we shall take you through a free and fair representation of TODAY!! We are the B-B-C! and what is particularly British about our Broadcasting is that we are a pillar of democracy. We offer balanced coverage of the issue – which issue?; this issue!; the one we are representing TODAY!! – Of course we always endeavour to invite someone to say the opposite of whatever has just been said but never fear! our presenters are slick and sharp with the argument from the other side of the house and ensure that all si…— I mean, both sides of the argument are given equal coverage in TODAY!!’s important debates. Yes, we are indeed a pillar of democracy and as such we embody the democratic values of Britain TODAY!!. It is of the utmost importance that, just as in our legal system and our political system, news media not only represents a story, or a case for the prosecution or a parliamentary bill, but that the opposing argument is heard as well. For and against; prosecution and defence; government and opposition. It is very simple and come now, don’t try and fog the issue with your obtuse intellectualising – our listeners need a clear answer TODAY!! Coming up next we have a business leader who claims to AGREE with the Occupy protesters in criticising capitalism — I’m sorry…heh heh — ah… — Now, am I supposed to argue for capitalism or against capitalism?


He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.

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